“Life you may evade, but death you shall not.” T.S. Eliot
The oldest documented living person (a woman) is 114-year old Kama Chinen of Japan, who was born on 10 May 1895. The oldest living man at present, is 113-year old Walter Breuning, born 21 September 1896.
A friend of mine is planning a 99th-birthday party for her great-uncle Albert. When she told me about this, it made me contemplate this “longevity” thing. In some ways, I hope I make it to 130 years of age. Yet in other ways, I hope I am gone long before I reach the point of bedridden, Depends-clad, drooling senility. Know what I mean?
As medicine continues to improve, and as scientific breakthroughs become commonplace, our life expectancy lengthens. One day, the leading cause of death may be ourselves, killing one another…
I drive a Toyota Prius hybrid automobile.It gets nearly 50mpg. Now Chevy is unveiling the Volt, which boasts of 230mpg. I’m getting this suddenly sinking sensation that I bought my car prematurely…
When I get ready to sell my Prius, will there be no market for it? Will cars routinely get hundreds of miles on a gallon of gasoline? Or electricity? Ethanol? Hydrogen?
SMITHFIELD (WTVD) — Johnston Co Sheriff Steve Bizzell confirmed to Eyewitness News Wednesday that attorney Chad Lee’s family has filed a missing persons report for him.
The family told investigators the 32-year-old was last seen on June 25. He was driving a tan colored Toyota pickup truck with North Carolina license plate PRF-6194.
Lee is one of six attorneys and court officials charged with helping cover up DWI cases in Johnston County. Prosecutors charge the six used pre-signed dismissal forms and faked information to get drunken driving cases dismissed illegally.
Special prosecutors with Attorney General Roy Cooper’s office brought the charges after an investigation by State Bureau of Investigation agents into cases that were allegedly dismissed using forms signed by former assistant district attorney Cynthia Jaeger and then filed after she had resigned from the District Attorney’s Office
An amateur astronomer in Australia has discovered that the planet Jupiter was struck recently by an object up to two kilometres in diameter.
Anthony Wesley noticed what he described as a black scar near the south pole of the planet last Thursday.
He reported his observations to NASA’s jet propulsion laboratory in California, where astronomers were able to determine that it was caused by an impact, possibly a stray comet or a block of ice.
NASA officials say the dent created in Jupiter is about the size of Earth.
This was the initial report that came from BBC. A dent the size of Earth? Man, that’s a fairly large dent, wouldn’t you say? Glad the comet wasn’t headed our way. Or “block of ice”, as the case may be. Think how long you could keep a six-pack cold with a block of ice that big! Like … from now on!
So today I have been watching “When We Left Earth” on discovery channel. I watched the special originally when it came out a while back and I loved it. The astronauts that agreed to go into space with no guarantee of success were complete badasses. While most people would be saying prayers prior to launch, one astronaut famously said “let’s light a fire under this candle!” Another said simply, “don’t fuck this up.” EPIC.
Stop watching TV and return to your work. The rest of us on this planet are holding our collective breath waiting for you to get off the couch. (Admittedly, “When We Left Earth” is captivating television fare).
For all lovers of good writing, here is the opposite end of the spectrum with this year’s winners of the Bulwer-Lytton contest, (aka It Was a Dark and Stormy Night Contest) run by the English Dept. of San Jose State University, wherein one writes only the first line of a bad novel.
10. As a scientist, Throckmorton knew that if he were ever to break wind in the echo chamber, he would never hear the end of it. 9. Just beyond the Narrows, the river widens. 8. With a curvaceous figure that Venus would have envied, a tanned, unblemished oval face, framed with lustrous thick brown hair, long black lashes, perfect teeth that vied for competition, and a small straight nose, Marilee had a beauty that defied description. 7. Andre, a simple peasant, had only one thing on his mind as he crept along the East wall: “Andre creep… Andre creep… Andre creep.” 6. Stanislaus Smedley, a man always on the cutting edge of narcissism, was about to give his body and soul to a back alley sex-change surgeon to become the woman he loved. 5. Although Sarah had an abnormal fear of mice, it did not keep her from eeking out a living at a local pet store. 4. Stanley looked quite bored and somewhat detached, but then penguins often do. 3. Like an over-ripe beefsteak tomato rimmed with cottage cheese, the corpulent remains of Santa Claus lay dead on the hotel floor. 2. Mike Hardware was the kind of private eye who didn’t know the meaning of the word “fear”; a man who could laugh in the face of danger and spit in the eye of death — in short, a moron with suicidal tendencies. AND THE WINNER IS….. 1. The sun oozed over the horizon, shoved aside darkness, crept along the greensward, and, with sickly fingers, pushed through the castle window, revealing the pillaged princess, hand at throat, crown asunder, gaping in frenzied horror at the sated, sodden amphibian lying beside her, disbelieving the magnitude of the frog’s deception, screaming madly, “You lied!”
Every once in awhile, I experience a brainstorm* and feel as though I have developed a totally new, original idea - something that no one else (living or dead) has ever thought of. Have you ever felt this way?
Upon reflection, I have concluded that doing this (developing a completely novel, new, original idea) is highly improbable, indeed is likely impossible. Isn’t it more probable that every idea we conceive has been thought of by some other person at some earlier time? If you disagree, please let me know and explain why. If you agree, then are you as deflated and disheartened by this realization as I am?
*brainstorm: yes, this is an appropriate use of the noun form of the word, which has come to mean “a sudden impulse or idea” (though it originally meant “a severe mental disturbance,” back in 1890-1895 when it was coined); its verb form connotes subjecting a problem to the act of collective brainstorming.
I’m never going to bitch about Gail not staying at the front desk again. Just a minute ago she returned from her laundry hiatus and started talking to me. She talked to me about her cows and her goldfish pond. Let me repeat that…we talked about cows and her fucking goldfish pond. I can’t imagine two more boring topics. Gail just disappeared again to do towels and I really hope she doesn’t come back for the rest of my shift. What’s there left to talk about? Goats and newts? Yikes.
Dude, let’s be honest. If Gail was a 22-year old babe with a hot body and a nice smile, you would be delighted to discuss cows and goldfish with her. Heck, you would probably be googling for all the info you could unearth about what chemicals to pour into a goldfish pond, what supplements to add to the goldfish food, the best ways to recycle cow shit, etc. Admit it, man.
Chad Lee 
